I hate playing catch up on the blog.
So much has been happening in preparation for the move that I'm so very far behind. We move one week from tommorrow. Wow. There are so many things I would like to have documented about this process... all the ups and downs, emotions and effects... but I still haven't even finished Corey's Parent's trip from MAY!!!
Heaven help me!
Tonight I am determined to finish their trip.
In fact I think I will blog every night this week trying to catch up to the present day before we must dismantle the computer and put blogging on hold till we have a new home in Illinois.
But with all we still have left to do that feels a little bit like wishful thinking I believe.
Anyway, I would like to jot down a few current thoughts and feelings before I delve back in to the past.
A: I love Corey. Like really, really, really love him. Home is wherever he is, and I welcome any experience that will bring us closer and that will make him happier.
B: Hidden weaknesses and character flaws that have bubbled beneath my surface are already being brought out just by thinking about this move. I feel like I've been introduced to a whole new side of Ashlee and I'm pretty dissapointed in her. Could it be that part of the reason for this move is Heaven willing me to a place that will force me confront these nasty flaws by providing me with an arena full of ample opportunity to overcome them and be better? I think so. I hope so. I hope I don't fail the test and become an even worse person... which is bound to happen... no standing still with these things... it's either eat or be eaten.
(did that make any sense at all to anyone but me?)
C: I miss my kids. Our schedule is completely thrown off. I think I have only played on their bed with them once since we got the news. We haven't had FHE, we haven't eaten like we normally do... although the steady flow of cookies does help provide me that extra little something I need to keep working... so we can't call that all bad. We haven't had as much time to read, snuggle, laugh and be together. I miss them, and tonight for the first time I saw signs in Jack that this is starting to be a bit stressful on him. Poor kid. They are such sweet boys. Like really, really, really sweet, good children. I love them so much, and I miss them. I can't wait to go to Illinois just so I can be with them again.
D: It's a nice feeling to think that you will be missed by a few people when you leave. If we left and no one really cared I think I would be sad.
E: Anne (as in Green Gables, Avonlea, and the Island) is my new friend. Have you met her? She's awesome!
F: The closer we get to the move the more and more excited we get. Do you remember the small list of pro's for us moving that I posted a while back? Well it has grown. We are so, so excited, and so, so ready to be there!
G: Did I mention that I really, really, really love Corey?
Well, there's more to say... like always... but that will have to do for now if I am to finish my goal for the evening.
Time to blast back to the past.
Sunday, May 10th, Day 4:
Mother's Day, Yahoo!
In the morning we all got ready for church, exchanged M Day gifts (it was fun to actually be able to give Cindy her gift live and in person for a change!) and headed off for church. Oh! And Ed and Cindy got me 2 whole pounds of Fanny May Chocolates. MMMMMMMMM. Oh! I just thought of another pro for the move... FANNY MAY!!!!!!! YEEEESSSSSSS!!!!!
It was quite a special treat at church to have the Grandparents help in entertaining the children. Jack is not so hard anymore but Alaster on the other hand.... well... he started out with us but quickly headed out the door with Grampa. Grampa took him to an empty classroom to practice sitting quitely on a chair and to practice his whisper voice (currently Aly has one setting: LOUD!!!) After he had done that for a while he let him stretch his legs on a little walk. Meanwhile Corey and I got to actually listen and enjoy the meeting! Fancy that!
At home we hung out, ate leftover party food and tried out Jack's new hungry hippo game. All I have to say is that those Burton boys are cheats! Gram and Grampa also got to see the ball game that Corey and Jack play in action, and watch the boys wrestle. After a black bean burger dinner Cindy and I busted out our self-given Cheesecake Factory Cheesecake. Plain and Delish! I ate a piece every single night until it was gone.
When Ed and Cindy left to the hotel for the night Corey and I indulged in an old beloved past time: Harry Potter and Boggle. I even beat him! First time since I was pregnant with Jack!!!!
7 comments:
Ash - I know what you mean about the flaws, (not that moving to Vernal is anywhere near as big as moving to Illinois, but I think I get it at least a bit) and I'm SO GLAD that you and Anne - spelled with an 'e' are friends! I fall back on her every time I finish a book and can't get to the library soon. I'm on book 6 for the second time this year. Anyway...can't wait to see you on Tuesday! I'm so glad I didn't miss you before the big move! :)
I think that the fact that you see these flaws and can face them like you do only shows me how flawless you are -you're so amazing.
Ashlee I am feeling the exact same feelings with our move that you expressed in this post (except substitute the name Chris for Corey) ;) Thank you for posting and for being so amazing at expressing your feelings. It's helping me. :)
CAN I JUST SAY HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU SWEETIE. You are such a wonderful person and I adore you and your sweet boys (all three). HAVE THE TIME OF YOUR LIVES. GRADUATE SCHOOL IS THE BEST. So make some traditions and have a plan for fun. YOU and your children will remember these days. love aunt deedee
Know that you are going to be missed like crazy!! I know that you are going to be so busy until the move, but I hope we can see each other one more time! I know how you feel about the flaws as well...I feel like motherhood did that to me, and I feel like I failed a lot at first, but I hope I am getting the hang of it after a year and becoming a better person instead of that crazy woman that motherhood turned me into for awhile....*sigh*
I really liked this post. (I start a lot of my comments like that on your blog!) I liked what you said and how this move has made you a little intro-spective. I like to look back and see things that have done the same for me, and I am glad that I went through them. I don't know how you could think that you have character flaws, since you have been such an example of the exact opposite of 'flaws' to me. We really are excited for your move, but know that we will miss you like crazy!
Oh, and I forgot to say congrats on winning boggle!! Whoot whoot!
Post a Comment