Bye

This is my official last post before we move tomorrow.

I wish I had something really poetical or witty to say.

But I'm not even going to try. I'm tired.

I haven't had a good nights sleep since Thursday and we still have tons to do this evening. In fact... shhhh... don't tell Corey that I'm even doing this right now! He is out in the moving trailer organizing it like a giant jigsaw puzzle and I am supposed to be packing...

I came back with the intention to, but after I packed a box I couldn't find the big marker that we had been using to label the boxes. I looked and looked for the dang thing but it doesn't want to be found apparently. Not seeing the marker I did see the computer and decided I would take a two minute break to say goodbye to ya'll.

I'm not sure when I'll post again.

Will you miss me?

I'll miss you.

But I won't miss the blogosphere enough to cry about it.

Family on the other hand... is a different story.

I cried so much today.

It started early. I called Corey at 6:00 in the AM from our room at Primary Children's (don't worry there will be a whole post explaining that later...) and cried. Then I cried all night long as my sweet family came to help us pack and to say their goodbyes.

Cal and Whit were the last goodbye of the day. I cried with our final hugs, and I cried some more after they left even though Whit added a cheery "Well, see you at Sunday Dinner next week!" keeping with her mindset of... "I'll just pretend you're still in Murray..."

After Corey hugged me through the last tears of the night and we started packing the trailer I teased him saying "You better reassure me that you really love me or I think I will just stay here."

Reassure me he did, and I definitely am still excited and want to go.

Maybe some days are for being excited and some days are for crying. Kind of a "time for all seasons," kind of thing.

Today was just a day to cry.

It was the last day I would see my Utah family for who knows how long, and I didn't even try to be excited. Being heartbroken was paying homage to how much I love them and will miss them.

The good news is that tomorrow will be an excited day, I know it!

It is possible to feel both at the same time I suppose, but I tend to feel one thing really hard at a time and just take turns. I don't want one emotion to cheat the other if that makes sense (not that I can just decide these things... I just think that's how my heart works). Some people might define that style of dealing with life and therefor that kind of person as "dramatic," but I like how my Aunt Natty described me a few weeks ago.

I was telling her about something that had happened that was hard for me but how I ended up resolving it. We hadn't talked during the whole situation and she said "Oh! I wish I would have known so I could talk to you while it was happening. I know how you feel things so deeply."

That's a nicer way of saying dramatic: I feel things deeply.

But how the heck did I end up talking about that tonight? I was supposed to be saying a quick goodbye.

This post is way longer than I had intended.

The sleep depravation from the week is making me ramble.

Ending now.

Bye.