Pregnancy Memories Part 1- Jacko

Good morning all!

My handsome men are all at church, and I am at home in bed still trying to shake off "the gamboo," as my mother used to call it.

I tried to sleep some more, but that wasn't going so well so I thought I would take some time to journal.

I don't have pregnancy memories recorded anywhere, and that... I think... is a shame.

I'll start with my memories of Jack and hopefully write about Aly tomorrow, and Truman after that. No pictures. Sorry. I don't have them saved on this computer and I'm too lazy to do the extra work that would be required to get them here. Plus I was not a cute pregnant lady with Jack. For real. It's probably better this way. Without Further Ado...

The story of Jack's Pregnancy as recalled by his Mother to the best of her ability:

(You really should record as you go... I am sure there are probably a few inaccuracies as time tends to make a few things blurry, but I did my best!)

Jack came to us quite unexpectedly.

Am I allowed to say that? We went to the Doctor's office for something else, and walked out shocked with the news. From the very get-go Jack has surprised and amazed us, and frankly he has never stopped.

I remember laughing and wondering what on earth we were going to do. I remember being excited and looking at Corey to see how he was taking the news. I remember exactly what he looked like as we walked out, and the nervous laughter that he really couldn't help. I remember hugging, and the talk we had in the car on the way home.

I remember a flood of emotions and thoughts in the following days and weeks. I remember wanting a girl and feeling really scared at the possibility of a boy! I remember figuring out the due date and breathing a sigh of relief that I wouldn't be a teenage mother. I remember Cindy sending me "What to Expect When You Are Expecting," and pouring over it day after day. I remember being keenly aware that everything I did affected my baby and wanting to provide that baby the best home possible. It was the first time I started to research nutrition. It was the first time I learned what a "whole grain," was!

I remember being sick. So, so, so sick. I would make it through my shift as a Team-Lead at Convergys and come home to a very uncomfortable orange love seat where I would lay like a slug the entire night and watch hours of HGTV until I called Corey at Kinkos to say goodnight and then be off to bed.

I remember throwing up. Lots and lots and lots of throwing up. It happened every day, and different things would set it off. I was extremely sensitive to smells. Even good ones, if they were too strong, would make me puke. I remember one Saturday night making Corey pull off of 6th south close to the U's campus so I could puke in a trash can that thankfully was close. I remember holding my hair back and wondering if I was being mistaken by anyone as a drunk college girl who had a little too much fun that night. I remember the time I puked corn dog. I remember the time I was so, so starving... that I made Corey break the sabbath to go to the store and get me a Totino's Pizza (the only thing that sounded remotely edible). I was so hungry that I ate that entire pizza in less than a minute only to throw it up not another 3 minutes later. I remember thinking it served me right for forcing my husband to sin. I remember spaghetti as the worst thing I threw up... even worse than the corn dog. I lost 10 pounds the first trimester, and remember wondering if I would ever enjoy eating again.

I remember worrying. Lots and lots of worrying. Mostly it was related to how I would be as a mom. Would I love the baby enough? Would I know what to do? Was I ready to do this? I also worried about silly things. Would the baby be cute? Because I knew there were moms who couldn't tell the difference and thought their homely babies were adorable, but I was positive that I wasn't like them. I would know. Oh, I would know. Also, we worried about money. A lot. We were already so very poor, and we wanted me to stay home in the worst way.

But with all the worrying I remember there being room for faith. This baby was absolutely meant to come at that time, we loved him already, and we were incredibly blessed. I remember thinking things would work out. And they did.

I remember the day we found out he was a boy. I was disappointed. (Don't feel bad Jack... who I hope is reading this someday in the future... I just didn't know what I would do with a boy! I was the youngest in my family and was just used to little girls... all the little girls I taught ballet to... my cousin Aimee who was really the only baby I was ever around before you... I just didn't have a clue how much I would love my boys!). Corey was over the moon. In the parking lot after the ultrasound he told me that he wanted to name him Jack. It was decided then and there, and there was never any question. He. Was. Jack. It was a total no brainer. Can you imagine him being called anything else? Me either.

So many things related to Jack have felt that way. He has had such a strong little spirit and personality from the beginning. Jack was already Jack when he was inside me. Knowing his personality now it is so funny to think about how I felt him move during pregnancy (and also his personality as a baby!). There was nothing subtle. Nothing small and simple. He was restless and his movements were feisty and intentional. The last month or so I remember laying in bed at night and watching my tummy in amazement. Truly. You have never seen anything like it. Alaster and Truman have certainly not done anything comparable. The kid was crazy! I swear he was trying to get out any way possible, already impatient and ready grow up. I absolutely loved it. I knew the kid was going to have spunk, and I was not wrong. He has also always been one step ahead of his little body. In pregnancy he was ready to get out and be a baby... then as a baby he was frustrated and ready to be a toddler... always pushing for that next stage... growing up much too quickly. We recognize now that Jack, in spirit, has always been older than his actual age. It takes effort on our part as his parents to remember that he is still little, and to treat him that way. He just always seems so big, and believe me, that's what he wants us to think too.

Jack's pregnancy made me the most stereotypical pregnant lady of any of the boys. Much more than with Aly and Truman. I was crazy emotional... cried at the drop of a hat... I had very intense food cravings... my mother in law will never let me forget about the time I had a hot dog and a bowl of Lucky Charms in the same sitting (clearly I had begun to learn a lot about nutrition, but still had a long way to go! I was doing the best I could with the knowledge I had at the time!). I was so spacey! I once forgot 3 months of the year. No joke. We were driving to Orem and I was wondering how old Jack would be at his first Christmas. As I counted the months aloud I totally skipped September, October and November. Corey said "Uhhhh... You want to try that again?" I did... with the exact same result... not having a clue what he was talking about. I also remember once taking a bag of frozen peas to the DVD player to put away, then realizing... Oh... those don't go here at all.

Once I was craving Animal Cookies. You know... the ones with pink and white frosting? I asked Corey to bring some home on the way from work. He showed up with Animal Crackers... the ones that come in the circus box. I remember being devastated. I realized it was crazy though and waited until he left the room to start crying. Poor guy came back into the room totally confused as to what had just happened.

Other things I craved with Jack: Beef Stroganoff, Mac N' Cheese, Cantaloupe and Watermelon, and Lucky Charms... Lots and Lots and Lots of Lucky Charms. They are magically delicious you know. The last 10 days of pregnancy I went through 2 of those huge Malt-O-Meal sized bags of them (Marshmallow Mateys!). Embarrassing but true.

Corey has been amazing during all of my pregnancies... but he surely deserves credit more for Jack's pregnancy than any of the others (except maybe the first trimester with Truman... but that's still a pretty big maybe). I went a little crazy. Okay, a lot crazy. We were dealing with serious issues in my family at the time... things I really don't care to relive here on the blog, but let's just say it was bad. Really bad. And then my mom passed away just one month after Jack was born. That's another story for another day... but the point is that I wouldn't have made it without my dear, sweet, supportive, loving and unselfish Corey. He is truly one in a million and I am one lucky dame.

To end the story I will say that Jack was 10 days over due. It was my fault not his. My body just doesn't know how to go into labor apparently. I gained 10 pounds in the last week (water retention)... for a total of 40lbs during the pregnancy, and was pretty much miserable. I had expected to go 2 weeks early like my mom.

The night before Jack came Corey and I decided to celebrate our First Anniversary since we knew we would be in the hospital for the actual day (actually that was the day we came home). Corey surprised me with flowers and cookies from my favorite Salt Lake bakery. We went out to dinner at Village Inn... not fancy... but certainly meaningful. When we were dating we would meet at Village Inn after my shift at work. At 3:00am it was the only place open. We recalled memories of dating, and I looked forward to being able to hug Corey again without a baby in between us. I will never forget the first real kiss we had after he was born.

I loved being pregnant with Jack. It was one wild ride, and I will cherish that time always. Jack was an extreme blessing in our life at the time that he came. In so many ways his sweet and fresh from heaven presence saved me at a very difficult time. Jack has continued to be a blessing in our life ever since.

Well... I don't know if it was fun for any of you, but it was sure fun for me to think over these memories! It is hard to try and record them. So much of what I felt during that time will just have to be held in my heart, it's too difficult to put into words... I am sure many of you can relate.

Next up: Mr. Morgan!