Do you know someone who is truly and utterly selfless? I was blessed to have such a person as my very own mom. I think my mom was truly blessed with a gift of selfless love. It was a talent of hers to be able to love passionately and completely. I remember growing up and people talking to me about how much they admired my mom's ability to love... especially her children. I can't imagine a greater talent.
Once I was in Relief Society with her, I think they invited the YW in for that day, and I remember Nancy Draper was giving the lesson. I sat next to my mom as Nancy talked about a recent experience that she had in our home. She was getting her hair cut in my mom's shop, and was there for the time that Calvin and I got home from school. I ran in to the shop to tell my mom I was home as was the usual custom. Nancy cried as she tried to describe to the RS sisters the look of joy that came across my mom's face to see me home again. She told everyone how much she valued my mom's example. Nancy never heard my mom say one negative thing about Calvin and I to herself or to another person. She remembers my mom always talking about us with such joy and pride, and not in a way that would make you annoyed because you thought that she was bragging. It's hard to sound like your bragging when your words really do stem from your natural love.
I felt awkward that day when I sat in RS, with all those teary eyes turned to her and I, and I don't think my mom and I ever talked about it after, but it was an experience that never left me, and I'm so grateful I was there that day.
After I left my home I was able to see more fully just how much my mom loved me. It came through quiet moments of thinking about our relationship. One example is when I thought through certain phases when I tried to reject her love. Thankfully it wasn't normally like that, but I remember one particular phase when I reached out for other people much more that I did my own mom. You'd think that she would have responded in kind, or moped, or done SOMETHING different, but I don't remember her attitude or behavior towards me changing at all. In fact the only thing I do remember her saying to me was things like "I'm so glad that you have ________ to talk to. She really is a wonderful woman." Said without any kind of bitterness at all. I don't have a lot of regrets with my relationship with her, but I do wish that I never would have gone through phases like that. I wish I would have always been as close as we were right before she passed away.
Today I have been taking care of one sick baby. Feverish, pukey, and attached to my hip. I have bathed him, rubbed his little back, kissed his little fingers, and walked outside with him in the calming breeze. It's times like this that my thoughts inevitably turn to my mom.
She would make me grilled cheese sandwiches whenever I asked for them.
She let me lay in her bed when I was sick even if I was vomitting. One day I threw up so many times I had to go to the emergency room, and all of that day before we left I had been laying in HER bed. (I remember very vividly missing the bucket at least once)
She was a beautiful person and a spectacular mom, and I feel so blessed that I was one of the lucky kids that got to be hers.
5 comments:
I've been thinking about your sweet Mom a lot lately too! I love that woman and I love her influence on my daily life. I will always be thankful for the way she raised Cal. He is the most unselfish person I know and I am the blessed one that gets to benefit from her teachings towards him on a daily (well more like hourly) basis! Thanks for the sweet post, it brought tears to my eyes and gave me one more reason to be thankful today. Also, sorry your sweet baby is so sick! I hope he is better soon! love ya!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts about your mom. Chris always says how "cool" she was. You too are such a sweet person who I have already learned so much from. Have a great day!
What a beautiful tribute to your mom. She must be SO proud of you.
Your mom was a very kind person. She passed that down to you along with many other great things. I am always amazed at how thoughtful and aware you are of your role as a mom. You have shown me a lot of the 'right ways' to be a mom!
I just have to second what Stephanie said. I love your posts about being a mom and about your mom. I remember your mom always being so willing to talk to us when we'd be over at your house and always being willing to do whatever she could to make us feel comfortable in your home. Whether it was not getting mad when we spilled flour all over your storage room, or just laughing with us when we did weird things, or trying to instill in all of us a love of Karl Malone, she was just a great person to be around. I loved your mom, and I love you as a mom too!
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