My Easter Thoughts

This past Saturday marks the 6th anniversary of my Mom's death.
It is always a day of mixed emotions for me as I'm sure you can imagine. It is bitter-sweet to remember how lucky I was to have her as a mom, and of course, how very dearly, dearly I miss her. This year, with another baby on the way for both Calvin and I, I can't help but be even a little more sad.
She would have loved her Grandbabies so much! She would be having so much fun with them!
Still, I love to talk to the boys about their Angel-Grandma... and when I tell them that even though she is not here she watches over them and loves them, and that we will be with her again, I know that it is true, and I am comforted.
The long and seemingly unfair separation from her now will make our reunion just that much sweeter. Oh how I look forward to that day!
What a blessing it was that this year the anniversary of her death was immediately followed by Easter.

I admit that I haven't always taken the opportunity to properly celebrate Easter.
Oh sure... I have colored eggs, I have eaten ham and funeral potatoes, and I have watched the Ten Commandments. I have bought springy new dresses, I have spent time with family, and I have attended church all before. These things certainly mark the passage of another year and another Easter day... and yet one can do all of these things and still not really celebrate.
This year was different.
As I truly contemplated the meaning of Easter... all the barriers that were crossed and all the blessings that were gained on that most sacred of mornings... my heart was fit to bursting with joy, and my whole soul felt to rejoice.
He Lives!
He has conquered death and sin! He is the greatest Hero the world has ever known!
This is the good news of the gospel, the reason for all that we do, and the hope of all mankind!

How very easy it is for me to love Jesus when I take time to contemplate all that was at stake.
I tremble to think of what would have been lost had He failed in His mission.
All week my thoughts have been along these themes, and my testimony and love of Him have increased... as have my feelings for the Father who sent him.

At one point during sacrament meeting Jack and Alaster were both snuggled up against me tightly. Their little arms and legs were all tangled up on my sides and arms and lap... they pressed their little cheeks against my shoulders. I held them tight, patted their legs, and thought about the conversation Corey and I had the night before.

We had talked about the joy we find in their sweet and perfect innocence, and how we are often saddened to remember that it can't last forever. They will not always be so wonderfully innocent... they will not always be so happy and so carefree. Their life, of necessity, is destined to contain some dissapointment, hurt feelings, stress, anguish and pain.
And even though we know it is important, we can't help but find it tragic! Someday my boys will have the real-life worries of a grown up man! Oh no! How we wish they could be our sweet little boys forever and that we could shield them from every type of pain and sadness!

As my mind recalled this conversation and these feelings... my thoughts turned to another parent... One who also had a perfectly innocent Son... who had to watch Him literally take the pain and the wickedness of the world upon His shoulders. And to have His perfect son actually ask to have the cup removed and to not be able to do it... I can't even imagine. How he must have wanted to save Him! How His heart must have broken to see His best boy hurt!

How very grateful I am for my Heavenly Father and for Jesus. How thankful I am to know of them, and of the Plan of Happiness. I am thankful for every blessing that is available to me because of the Atonement and Resurrection of Jesus Christ. I know that with His help, I too can overcome sin and death, and that I can be reunited with God and live with Him and with my Family forever.

I had just the best Easter.

I think I am ready to officially proclaim it my new favorite holiday. How sad that I didn't spend the other 25 Easters of my life properly celebrating!

Happy Easter Everyone! I hope yours was glorious too!